Reflection

This is a work in progress:


Sorrow presses down on me
It is through altered eyes I see
the glaring flaws of a blurred distorted world
Lost and disjointed I wander around
Not quite awake but not quite sleeping
Jealousy has poisened me and I am barely breathing
Looking for what is lost but I can't remember what that was
Slowly fading into the madness of the present
forgetting the vibrance of who I was during my descent
becoming used to being ignored, an afterthought
Willing myself to dissapear
to see myself reduced to nothing
Nothing would be better than this half hearted existance
Tears escape from me like refugees carrying the weight of my distress
I gather the growing darkness, pulling it like a cloak around me
To protect me from the being blinded by the glare of harsh reality
I shudder and feel I am shrinking growing smaller day by day
until I am small enough, to fall through the cracks.
I just can't stop thinking
This plague of doubt won't go away
My mind is a whirl with a flurry of worries swarming like bees
They feed on the residue left by my lost love's honey
The sweetness gone rotton left to swelter in the heat of angry words
I walk alone in this wonderland of grief where my screams are not heard
covered by cuts from double edged swords
weilded by people who don't give a damn
I am tired and wasted from too much caring
Nothing left to offer I have already given everything
Still I move on, too scared of what will happen if i stop and look back
and catch my reflection in a pool in a puddle
Freezing in horror when faced with the image of what i have become.