Shrouded with worry
sadness surrounds me.
How can people be
so cruel?
Monsters living right next door.
The Boogeyman is no longer
just in the closet.
He walks amongst us
in his clever disguise.
Looking out from the dark shadowland
that is his mind.
Consience blinded by desires so inky black
We cannot fathom.
Waiting to prey on wide eyed innocence.
Feeding on trust like candy.
Luring the beautiful children into his trap.
They have no chance against pure evil.
The monsters prey without compassion.
I walk in sadness
shrouded in sorrow.

Tradgedy

Here is the latest update on Alicia Ross, I am in shock right now after reading this, I pray for strength for her family, at least they have some closure now:

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20050922/alicia_ross_sylvester_050922/20050922/

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/1127313696931_122722896/?hub=TopStories

http://www.cjnews.com/viewarticle.asp?id=7356


*see links for further details

Here is the latest on the Jennifer Teague, she went missing September 8th when she was walking home from Wendy's:

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/1127157734296_122566934/?hub=Canada

http://www.canada.com/ottawa/ottawacitizen/news/story.html?id=b8e29ceb-91a4-4ec8-aad8-fd79fcdb69d7

Writer's Block

It seems that I have encountered a case of writers block. I have been going to the gym lately to stimulate my creative energies but it has not helped me to think of anything interesting to write.

I feel like I am sort of stuck in a rut right now...so much depression around me that I am fighting to stay happy. I can't even win a free ticket in the lottory. I feel like my good luck is running out but I don't want to give in to it. I have tried to avoid watching and reading the news lately as all they seem do is capitalize on people's truama and despair under the guise of "informing" us of world events. I have not been able to "desensitize" myself to the horrors and suffering they feel fit to show on tv and put in the paper.

I am waiting for something special, magical or exciting to happen to me. I don't know what it is. I just know I want to be pleasantly surprised for a change. Trust people and find out they really are nice. I guess I am just worn out from giving the best of myself to people and getting little or no reciprocation.

I don't normally expect anything of people, I am just nice because it is my nature, but it takes effort to stay positive and look on the brightside. It is not easy to maintain happiness. I wish it was easier, that's all.

Well that's it....hugs to everyone...try to do something nice for someone today...just because you can ;-P

Impy Anna

Hybrid Cars

This is a post for all the drivers out there...there has been much talk and speculation about hybrid cars....with the environment in rapidly declining state that it is in and the prices of gas skyrocketing worldwide the need for hybrid cars is growing. The hybrid cars combine both gasoline and electric motors so that they take much less gas and emit less pollution. Unfortunately they are still out of the average persons price range. It was suggested by a very smart friend of mine that the government should increase the subsidies offered to people as an incentive to buy the hybrid cars. Currently in Canada that subsidy is roughly $1,000. With the price of the average hybrid being around $6,000 more than a regular car it can be a pricey decision.

I read this article and it gave me a lot of information on the hybrid technology including how they work, savings vs. costs, where to find a hybrid and what to expect on the road.

http://reviews.cnet.com/4520-10845_7-6207778-1.html?tag=ca_home

Who am I?

Who am I
to rest in the soft cradle of sorrow
amongst the truely hurt, sick, and suffering?
How can I,
Blessed by love and beauty
count myself worthy to grieve
for my non-existant loss?
What right have I
to partake of in the sweet release
of tears streaming from my eyes?
I am an imposter in their midst.
My pain is false.
I have no real wounds
That make me worthy of the healing balms
of sympathy and comfort.
Who am I but a pretentender of discontent?
I must end this charade
No longer be sad and perpetuate pain.
I will be the one teach myself
how to laugh again.

What about the damage to their souls?

I have been reading a lot lately about hurricane Katrina and the damage it has wreaked in New Orleans. I have tried to put up an emotional shield. I have tried to tell myself that these things happen and that there is nothing we can do. I really did try to separate myself from the sorrow and devastation doled out in spades by this cruel force of nature...

But then I heard about the looting in the streets, about people just going mad and stealing guns, shooting people, tipping rescue boats. With sickness building in my stomach I read about people being mugged and raped in the superdome, where they were supposed to have found some sort of safe haven...

I am overcome with sadness at the rapid degeneration of the human spirit at in the face of so much suffering. What sort of damage has been unleased upon these peoples souls? What sort of lives have they led that created so much savagery and hatred in them? What turned these people into montsters controlled by the most horrid aspects of human nature? Were these tendancies laying dormant deep down inside? What sort of evils has this hurricane unleashed upon the richest nation in the world? Would things have been different if aid had come sooner?

I don't know...I can't even imagine the horror that the innocent victims of the storms are living right now....I will be honest with you...I don't want to imagine...I WANT to sit in my nice cushy office and go home to my nice cushy house and live my nice happy life...I am so thankful for EVERYTHING that I have. I feel so crushingly sad for all those people suffering...but still maintain the guilty sense of relief that I am so so so lucky to be me. I honestly don't think that I possess the strengh to survive grief of that magnitude.

Here is an article I read about the hurricane that especially moved me:

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-observe2sep02,1,609722.story?coll=la-headlines-nation

I would like to take a moment to reflect on how grateful I am for everything positive I have in my life...

Some of the things I have always believed are:
it is NEVER EVER EVER okie to take anything for granted...to take every opportunity I am offered to appreciate kindness and beauty in those around me. Resist the urge to lash out in anger. Try to heal, not hurt, whenever you can. Foster kindness and love. Don't take anything personally. Don't judge other people just live your life the best you can.

I love you my friends...old and new...I wish you all the happiness you can handle.

Anna